1.Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field!
2.A city man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Excuse me mister, but what are you doing?" The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks the man, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."
3.What's the best part of farming? Getting down and dirty with my hoes
4.What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows? Udder nonsense!
5.Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side! Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken! Why did the horse cross the road? To visit his neighborhood! Why did the farmer cross the road? To get all of his animals back!
6.Two cows were talking in a field one sunny day. The First cow said to the other, “Have you hear about Mad Cow disease that’s going around? The second cow replies, “Yeah, makes you glad you’re a penguin, doesn’t it?”.
7.Its election time in rural Ireland and a busload of local politicians crash off-road into a nearby field. Emergency services are called to the scene, but no passengers are found. The ambulance crew ask a nearby farmer has he seen the politicians. “I buried them”, he replies. “Are they all dead?” Ask the ambulance crew. The farmer said, "Well, some of them said they were alive but you can't believe anything a politician says can you?"
8.Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?Because they Lactose!
9.A farmer is sent to jail, with the wife left responsible for the farm until he returns. She, though is not the best farmer and writes him a letter in jail. “To my sweet husband, I want to plant the potatoes, but when is the best time to do it?”, it read. He responds, “Don’t go near that field babe, that is where I buried all of my guns”.
10. Gardaí intercept the letter before it makes it to the farmer’s wife and they then dig up the entire field in search of the illegal weapons. After two days digging, they give up having found nothing. The farmer then writes to his wife again, “Now honey, you can plant the potatoes”.
Have you a good farming joke? Post them in the comments!!