- We can't pull calves!
Says who? I managed to pull a 60kg bull calf as recent as last week! We are naturals in this area; after all, we do understand the pain! (Don’t think I need to go into any further!)
- We only take selfies!
We love our animals so much that we want to share the love outside of the farm gate. Farming females are very active on social media as facebookers, tweeters and snappers!
Behind the scenes, the animals do have to be fed, watered and cared for; requiring constant attention twenty-four hours a day.
- We don’t know our way around the craft of tractor-driving.
Lassies are continuing to spring up around the country; stacking, mowing, baling, wrapping, the whole job lot.
Females do suffer from green fever and are tractorologists!
- We don't go to the mart!
But sure why wouldn’t we go? (Weekly attender here myself to be found at the ringside!)If we can go high-street fashion shopping, why can’t we make purchases in the form of four-legs?
- We are not familiar with the tricks of the trade!
As if; you’d be surprised how our intelligence shines through when it comes to cattle-dealing, for example.
We may just even ask you about €uro-stars, her health history and even ask for a lucks-penny. Sure a score will do us!
- We think all animals are of the same quality.
When someone tries to sell us their not-so-flashy stock. (A recent case springs to mind)
We’ve all arrived into a field full of twenty heifers and the farmer knows we are going to loosen the purse strings; because we really do mean to do Bizz! Many forget that we want quality for money.
The farmer tries to pull a fast one, by telling you that only two heifers are for sale and he tries to shuttle them off because they’re a nice roan colour- an ideal ladies for breeding.
It turns out they mightn’t just be up to the standard of quality of the other heifers, but the farmer ignores that facts and suggests they’d look best in your field.
Being ahead of the curve, we know the E-U-R-O-P grading system like the back of our hand, thankfully!
- We don't know how to sell stock
If you know how to buy, you have to know how to sell! Don’t they say you have to spend money to make money? Now for ya!
We are no strangers to dividing a hundred, giving back luck and giving a farmer a few days to ‘sleep on’ the deal. Sure at the end of the day, it’s all about reeling in the dosh.
- We're all glam & never get dirty!
In order to embrace our feminine charm, we do indeed like to throw the auld glad rags on and make a little bit of an effort, but only once our farming duties have been completed.
We have all at least once in our lifetimes had to return home early from the night on the town, in order to assist with the welcoming of new life, in the form of four-legs into the world.
Please note, dresses, heels, nails, jewellery and perfume do not stop us from delving straight into the job. We can go from heels and dresses to overalls and wellies in seconds.
- We only specialise in paper-work & vet calls
Our skill-set stretches a little further, outside of these tasks. Although we are no stranger to form-filling and attending the local Veterinary office, we also do pull calves, feed them, conduct routine dosing, how long do you want the list to be? Maybe try asking us what we can’t do!
- We can only doll ourselves up.
As explained before, we do like to go a step further when it comes to glamorous; sure it is nice to get dressed up the occasional time.
We can also enhance the appearance of heifers by conducting routine beauty therapy routine prior to a show. Our own first-hand experience comes in handy here.
Once you know your way around a head of hair, you can master the pre-sales ring exhibition; including shampooing and clipping their tails.