As part of my time here at That’s Farming, I have crossed paths with many leading figures that dominate the rostrum on a weekly basis.
From the young guns starting out on the scene to those who bring over four decades of experience to the game, I have obtained a unique flavour of what sort of characters lie the other side of the ring.
- Auctioneers are strangers in marts.
Livestock Auctioneers are the celebrities of the livestock mart scene.
More often than not, you will find them at the centre of large huddles and they are never to be found staring blankly at a wall.
Red carpet upon arrival and a reserved golden spot in the canteen I hear you say!
- They are bad judges of stock.
Now come on? Since the auctioneer is selling hundreds of livestock every day, there really shouldn’t be any question remaining in our mind when it comes to the stock-judging skills of an auctioneer.
- They are bad judges of people.
As many auctioneers continue to tell me to this day, you have to be as a good of a judge of a person as you do an animal.
Leading Auctioneers know the type of stock that you usually buy and of course your biddy style! (They know you better than anyone really)
The five-star auctioneers strike a balance when it comes to judging both an animal and a person.
- They don’t have the gift of the gab!
Auctioneers, mastering many talents raise an eyebrow or two when we find them having a conversation with a potential buyer when they are selling an animal simultaneously.
When in the middle of a conversation with an auctioneer, you may find it difficult to get a word in! ( TYPICAL)
- They aren’t talented individuals.
I’m going to put this one to bed for good.
Their ability to communicate with both the vendor and potential purchaser, spotting bids from every corner of the room, observing the animals, the weighbridge and every other thing that the livestock mart has in store for one- Sure it’s the workload of ten people!
Talented would be an understatement.
- All auctioneers are the same.
Auctioneers are best known for putting their unique ‘stamp’ (no pun intended) on their auctioneering style-in particular their chant.
There are certain expressions and filler words that we associate with particular livestock auctioneers.
Any of the following expressions ring a bell?
‘The hairy one gone out, selling up the hill, the one gone by, New blood, she’s cashed, one for the white boat. Not a bad sort’
I bet you have a particular auctioneer in mind when you hear these filler words!
- Auctioneers can’t lip-read!
When I said auctioneers are multi-talented, I most certainly meant it!
Their ability to lip-read dealers’ when they are trying to ‘open’ animals goes beyond our ability to understand their talent.
Absolute geniuses I hear you say!
- They don’t have a personality.
The 30-second sale of an animal is proof of the pudding that livestock auctioneers are among some of the best characters to be found!
They may even find themselves in the middle of a slagging match too.
You won’t find individuals quite like them if you travel the length and width of the entire globe!
- They only talk gibberish!
This is the biggest myth of the era by in large.
While many find themselves in the middle of an auctioneering rap as opposite a chant, if you listen closely you might actually identify a word of familiarity.
Does ‘fibbiddy bidddds g’wann ffforty-forrrty-forty-’ sound like something you hear often?
Thought it would spring to mind when I mentioned that one alright!
- They don’t know the tricks of the trade.
Yet another big myth!
They most certainly know when someone is trying to pull a fast one.
They know exactly what one is thinking- Psychic!