- You have a calendar countdown.
Every possible show date is earmarked in your calendar. Livestock mart sales and farm walks are marked blue, but show days are inputted in red, in order to stand out in your jam-packed agenda.
- You buy new attire for the heifer
You dress her up to the nines like she is going on the red cat-walk. This means that she really does have to show her best side.
Since you really appreciate her five-star value, purchasing a new rope, halter and a show stick is paramount. Celebrity shampoo is bought on another day.
Now she’s show ring ready!
- Your show heifer swallows every penny that you have to your name
Once you have her all roped-up and ready to go, you most certainly must not look past her much needed beauty therapy in order to allow her to stand a chance against her fellow competitors.
This may mean that you weekly wages from your 9-5 go directly to the heifer.
Expensive specialist shampoo, soap and coat shiner are all required in order to make her look the real job.
Rumour has it she receives more expensive hair-care products than you do!
Would we be right now?
You may even manage to gather a few pennies that remain to purchase a loaf of bread and a tea bag in order to see yourself through to the end of peak show season.
- You purchase high-street fashion and dress up to the nines.
The heifer cannot take all the pride and enjoy, you have to make yourself presentable aswell.
Purchasing a new white show-coat and Super Hamptons seems like a good call. You can’t have the heifer showing you up at the end of the day or can you?
- A new cabinet is purposely made for the silverware.
Yes, we agree that are only so many rosettes that are going to fit across the dashboard of the jeep and attach on to the mirror once that space is full.
A specially designed cabinet tailored for a specific purpose seems like the ideal purchase; sure it will only cost you a fraction of the show winning action.
Time to show off those championship cups and red rosettes with pride as visitors in their numbers flock into your sitting room!
- The Show-Team is selected
Behind every good heifer is an equally good show team.
Once you have selected your four-legged bovine beauty bursting with potential, you next have to go in search of the perfect two-legged handlers.
Selecting the show team can prove to be a little bit of a challenge, as every show-man and show-woman in the country is on the hunt for gold-scooping Young Handler winners.
- You have mastered tea and sandwich making which is the ultimate key secret to your showing success
You have to keep yourself on your feet and tea and ham-sandwiches has the ability to do just that!
By the time show season sounds up, you’ll know exactly which side of the bread your show team likes buttered, along with their ‘perfect’ tea criteria.
Plenty of milk and two sugars for the shock, I hear you say!
- You know the heifers pedigree & €uro-star report but not your own family tree.
You are a real dedicated show person, meaning that you know the pedigree and €uro-star report of your heifer like the back of your hand.
How does telling me the name of your Great-Great-Great-Great Grandmother sound?
That one might cause you to think twice alright. Feeling baffled?
- You remember every cent of prize-money that you’ve ever earned
From €50 to €2,500 in a sole competition, every penny is never forgotten. The silverware, rosettes and the prize money all are stored in your long-term memory.
You’ll remember when your rivals took home top honours also, giving you a real run for your money.
- You are counting down the timeframe from one show to the next.
Suffering from Show-loving fever, you are bursting with excitement until the calendar does a full circle and show-day arrives once again.
If it was possible to push the clock forward by three-hundred and sixty-five days you sure would do it!
Main Photo: Michael Martin.