- Mart Trips
However, farmers, when making the weekly pilgrimage to the ‘local’ (Mart, we mean of course), please ensure that you make an effort to come home from the mart with the same number of animals that you left with that morning.
We are not suggesting to return home with the herd’s same four Charolais heifers that departed with you that morning, new additions can be made too, of course, sure variety is the spice!
- Husbandry & Handling
Instead of calling that young bull or cull cow every name under the sun when it comes to the dreaded loading process, why not try and take a calmer approach?Make a promise not to fight when loading animals, it isn’t a sparring match you are sparking here!
- Effing and Blinding
One simply cannot load cattle without swearing, says the farmer!
There is also only so many times you can call a lady a female dog before she will realise that you are directing this comment at the two-legged female and not the four-legged ones!
Not everyone will understand that the aul’ half-bred bull can be a challenge at times, so you need to stand behind the oak tree, located across from Jim’s house, a quarter of a mile from the bad bend!
We don’t expect a GPS location, but try a little bit better than that!
- Farming Wardrobe
We know that when it comes to the emergency delivery of a calf or lamb, after you return home from date-night with herself, that you can do nothing except roll-up the sleeves of the expensive Tommy Hilfiger shirts, in order to get ‘stuck in’!
We are sure Mr. Hilfiger didn’t design these high-street fashion pieces for those sort of tasks, five-star hotels maybe!
And women, no shoving calving gloves, scissors or Vet Lube in that expensive Michael Kors handbags of yours. It is for the lippy and compact mirror, not for an emergency birthing!
- Mart Enthusiasts
- Be Socialable
This year, try to ensure that you have all of these vital pieces of calving equipment stored in a particular section of the shed, or at least put the calving ropes in a safe place. No that does not mean to tie those two main entrance gates together, with the famous, sole pair of ropes!
When you have the calving equipment sorted to a satisfactory level, then progress on to dosing, animal remedies, the whole job lot, while you’re at it. Baby steps!
- Paperwork & Documentation Organisation
There is nothing worse than mountains of A4 papers to be attended to, in a short period of time.
Of if you’re like me in recent months, allocate a section of your home or an exterior office for all farm documents. It’s not easy being an organised farmer, we know the story.
- Social Media & Technology
A lot of the older stock, question if we will ever get the young guns weaned off technology. The young lads and lassies are praying that the auld dogs will learn new tricks and get themselves a smartphone instead of that big block.
If you are a man or woman of the land and haven’t an ounce of interest in the aul’ Snapchatting, sure why get yourself into a bit of Twittering or Facebooking for the New Year! Land yourself in the world of the unknown and explore. You might even find a new use for that aul’ piece of thrash, thrown in the yard. The web is the world of the unknown.
Why not keep up-to-date with farming news too!iPhone
That’s a wrap! Best of luck farming followers!